I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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