I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
