Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i came on her dog
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
