Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
then he tried to convert me to islam
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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