was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
