that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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