Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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