Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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