You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
