i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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