so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
