I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
