I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
be right there i have to get my cape
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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