I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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