Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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