Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize