Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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