Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
