i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
