I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
