I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize