She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
