he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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