Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
