I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize