Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
