I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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