Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
