How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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