Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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