That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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