We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
