I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
