a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
