At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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