he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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