we made out on top of his cat.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
