gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Michael Bay diarrhea
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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