i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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