either way he was missing a nipple.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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