is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
