my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
