Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if only i could text you this smell
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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