This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
