What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
