All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pants are for mortals
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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