what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
