i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
