it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize