you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
