im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
