I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
