I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
