Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
