I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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