This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
