A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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