Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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